Tag Archives: Zen

Weekend sendoff: Limitations

As of yesterday, my new exercise program has lasted 11 days in a row. So far so good, or at least I’ll have to hope so, because it’s sucking the life out of me. I still enjoy the pleasure of appropriately sore muscles the next day, that knowledge that I’m working what I need to work, and when it’s too nasty hot to walk outside during the day, Paul and I can go for a nice evening stroll. It’s a lovely time in L.A. for blooming flowers, especially jasmine, which has perfumed my entire neighborhood (including my own backyard).

"Downward-facing dog, my ass."

Post-exertional malaise is like a non-sparkly vampire that’s serious about things and doesn’t only want to glare longingly at you. It’s not just about falling asleep for five hours after a 20-minute walk, or feeling like every day is the first day of the flu. It also sucks away my creativity, which is something I take very personally. I’d rather give blood, especially when I’m currently in the middle of several writing projects about which I am seriously excited. My body doesn’t care that I’m excited, though; it’s too busy punishing me for going out in the sunlight. It doesn’t care that I love writing, and that I’m immeasurably frustrated when I can’t get my brain in gear because I did three Wii Fit exercises the day before.

I try to stay positive and I am so, so lucky to have Paul as well as collaborators who are wonderfully patient and understanding about my situation. I am grateful for that every day. Sometimes the physical stuff just overwhelms everything else.

Zen is a pretty good yoga teacher, but I’m sending you off with an even more impressively stretchy, not to mention giant, Burmese.

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Weekend sendoff: Lessons for a skeptic

straitOne thing I love about the skeptic community is that there is no end of things to learn from it. In one sense, I mean that there are so many different things to focus on, from medical pseudoscience to cryptozoology to Holocaust denial, and so much learning material about them — podcasts, blogs, books, lectures on YouTube, etc. (As someone who mostly works from bed, I am really thankful for how much of this is readily available on the Internet.) In another sense, and especially for someone who has only just started writing about her skepticism, there is always something new to learn about critical thinking, and how to improve it. It seems to me that criticism of one another can be just as useful as criticism of those we consider “the enemy,” at least as far as encouraging the community to improve its own practices.

I should properly cite and link some of what follows, but it was Paul’s birthday yesterday and I chose to celebrate with him instead of writing a really cogent post. The nutshell for those who haven’t been keeping up, and who will hopefully not mind Googling if they want to read for themselves: James Randi, a beloved and esteemed skeptical leader, wrote a post in which he expressed doubt about the existence of anthropogenic (human-caused) global warming (AGW). There was a firestorm of reaction to both this and his follow-up post, in which other skeptical leaders expressed disappointment, betrayal, and even anger. Some of this reaction had to do with the logical fallacies and apparent lack of critical study on the matter; some with the notion that the AGW “denialists” — an epithet hurled by many commenters at Randi — have had their position bolstered by one of the true icons of the skeptical movement.

There has been much opining, and I don’t need to add my voice to the chorus. The reason I mention it is because I’ve found it all to be extremely educational. I’ve learned a lot from those who have picked apart Randi’s post to demonstrate its fallacies. In a different way, I’ve learned a lot from the different personal views espoused by commenters such as PZ Myers, Phil Plait, Orac, and Massimo Pigliucci. It seems to me, and I mean this without judgment on anyone’s reaction, that skeptical leaders have a lot to teach their students when a challenge in the community arises like this. What is the purview of skepticism, and what isn’t? Should notable skeptics be restricted only to their area of expertise, or are they just as entitled as anyone else to air their opinion, controversial as it may be? When the community is forced to debunk one of its own leaders, certainly students like me should work even harder, learn even more, to guard against the kind of thinking that we like to think we are immune from. Because this week it really hit home that none of us is. And this is also how we form our opinions about how skeptics do and should respond in these situations.

Along those lines, I’ll have my belated post about alternative medicine for CFS and similar illnesses on Monday. Or more accurately, alternatives to some of the best known, but least useful, “alternative” treatments. For now, as a total non-sequitur, I send you off with the birthday boy and the incomparable Zen.

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All these good things

Being disabled by chronic illness means you might spend a fair amount of time being annoyed, frustrated, angry, or depressed by stuff. I’m not saying we’re all a load of bitter, miserable people; I’m saying that when you’re limited by your body in ways you can’t control no matter how firm a resolve you may have, almost every day you’re going to run into some kind of situation that requires special navigation. You end up focusing on your health almost as much as a hypochondriac, not because you want to, but because it’s your illness that runs your life in many ways now, not you. And every day you have to figure out what you can and can’t do all over again.

We all navigate these waters in our own way, and I don’t presume to tell anyone what kind of emotional response they ought to be having. But along with all my own kvetching and occasional pity parties, I also find time as frequently as I can to remember what I’m grateful for. (Some weeks more frequently than others, I admit.) It feels good to remember this stuff, and so Thanksgiving being Thursday, I thought I’d list a few of the things I am most thankful for, because I’m too bogged down with NaNoWriMo to come up with something original.

heart-1I’m thankful NaNoWriMo is almost over.

I’m thankful that I’m not as bad off as I could be. And no matter how bad off I might get, I will always be thankful for this.

I’m thankful that, with the help of medication, I can still manage a night out at the theatre, or a house party, or a celebratory dinner for two. I may end up paying for it afterwards, but I’m glad I haven’t lost that capacity entirely.

I’m thankful for having smart, open-minded doctors who aren’t afraid to say “I don’t know” nor to tell me hard truths when necessary.

I’m thankful I’m able to pay to see those doctors, as well as have all my basic needs well taken care of, not to mention a number of frivolous ones.

I’m thankful for the persistence of scientific curiosity, and the beauty of the world as science shows it to us.

I’m thankful that my oldest friends accept and support how I’ve changed since becoming ill, and that my newer friends are so understanding about my limits.

I’m thankful for the skeptical community that has opened my eyes to fascinating areas of study. The amount of learning and interaction I get from this has really kept me engaged and active this year after I’ve had to curtail my academic career.

I’m thankful for the two insane felines who live here and make me laugh every day.

I’m thankful to have a husband who is a true life partner in every sense of the term.

I’m thankful for you, whoever you are reading this, for being here. Working on Newly Nerfed keeps me reading, writing, and connected, and every reader does me an honor.

Have a safe and delicious holiday!

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