Tag Archives: snake oil

What time is it, kids?

It’s “whack a quack” time!

There’s a particularly time-intensive form of blog spam that I’ve started getting emails about. It’s the one where someone oh so generously offers to write a guest post for your blog! Wow, what a relief to have a post I didn’t have to write. It will be of the highest quality, of course, and include many amazing, game-changing treatments for ME/CFS. It’s almost like a charity act, if you think about it.

The thing about this one is the spammer is forced to provide a working email, so that when you accept their once-in-a-lifetime offer, you can contact them. And I always do, and I don’t think I have to tell you what I say. And they never write back.

Until now.

Here is the unedited text of an email I received today:

hi,

i have an [sic] fatigue site and i would love to write a guest article for you on treatments that i have found to help symptoms like insomnia, brain fog, etc.

I’ll write a 700+ word article that is great quality + i’ll do unlimited revisions until you’re happy [sic]

my site is chronicfatiguetreatments.com

Let me know if you’re interested and i’ll send you an article.

First of all, based on this email, I’m not quite convinced of the amazing quality of this proposed article. Second, note that ME/CFS or even just CFS is never mentioned. Just “chronic fatigue.”

I replied to this email in not the most polite and cordial manner. No, I didn’t check the site, as a good skeptic would have, but good skeptics also have this thing called “experience” where sometimes you just don’t need to expend the energy on research. I made it very clear that if I were contacted again, I would write my own post about this little exchange.

And he contacted me again. Which I take as a tacit acceptance of my terms.

Let’s play a game. Don’t check out that site just yet. First I’ll quote the response, then we can see if I was right in the first place. Emphasis is mine.

what are you talking about? i’ve been sick for 11 years and I made a website about it in 2006. I don’t care about the name “chronic fatigue”, because no one knows what the cause of it is anyways. When they find out, they will just end up changing the name, so the name really is not important to me at all.

Way to jump to conclusions, based on no facts. Sorry to bother you, Im [sic] sure you’ve got a game of WOW to get back to [sic]

1. Quacks and their shills always claim to be ill or have recovered from their illness.
2. The name is one of the largest controversies among patients and researchers.
3. There is new and exciting research on both terminology and etiology (see link in 2).

So here we have someone touting remedies for an illness that doesn’t exist (remember, chronic fatigue is a symptom not a diagnosis), who is completely tone-deaf to the needs of the patient community, not to mention the current state of research. Do you want this person recommending treatments to you?

Now let’s check the site, which of course I did in case my quackdar was off and an apology was warranted. Please, in all sincerity, if the site doesn’t immediately set off every quackery and snake oil alarm you have, please ask. I don’t see the need to go through right now it but if necessary, I would be happy to elaborate. What I most hope is that my fellow patients and other spoonies don’t fall prey to this clumsy and elaborate deceit.

So, granted, I did indeed jump to conclusions based on very little info. But as it turned out, the little info I had was excellent, and the conclusions were completely accurate.

Thank you to my email correspondent for providing the material for this post. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a “game of WoW” to get back to.

UPDATE 4:39pm: Respondent has changed his tune to how wonderful and nice he is and how he just doesn’t get it. Respondent also continues to insult me in the same breath, thus rendering his assertions extremely doubtful. Respondent further continues to be oblivious to the fact that I’m not in the least bit embarrassed to be a gamer, but apparently has no fresh ITG (Internet Tough Guy) material.

UPDATE 5:12pm: Spammer turns into concern troll, simultaneously appeals to my vanity by offering to be friends. Email harvesters, fellow patients, do feel free to contact him at jameson111@mail.com. It’s okay; he agreed to have it posted here.

UPDATE 6:02pm: With his next contact, I provide some howlers from the site that show the people who run it are not interested in your health. Again, posted with permission.

Chronic fatigue syndrome is a very misunderstood illness with no known cause. Currently it is defined as “severe fatigue that lasts longer than 6 months, which is not relieved by rest”. Also known as CFS, it is diagnosed only by excluding all other medical issues that can lead to these symptoms.

Is is just me or has nobody been paying any attention to recent research (or heck, just reading The Wall Street Journal or the Chicago Tribune)? This is hopelessly outdated to the point where it’s untrue.

This one just needs to be read in its entirety. Note the “high quality” that I’m guessing would be a hallmark of the proposed guest post.

UPDATE 8/30: I’ve ended my correspondence with this person, but his emails from this morning warrant one last question to you, my friends: Would you prefer your heavy metal chelation up your veins or up your ass?

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Weekend sendoff: But phytoplankton are awesome!

Yesterday, while I was in the middle of calling various doctors and juggling appointments around, I got cold-called by a medical scam telemarketer. The timing was pretty great, but unfortunately I wasn’t able to take as much advantage of the opportunity as I wanted.

The caller was advocating marine phytoplankton as, first and foremost, a cure for cancer, followed by a list including, and I quote, “high cholesterol, blood pressure problems, thyroid problems, arthritis, migraines, allergies…the list goes on and on.”

Yes, I’m sure it does. I would love to have had a nice conversation with the lady on the phone, but she clearly had zero idea what she was talking about. She kept to a script, and when I asked questions to clarify — even “what did you just say?” — she appeared incapable of deviating even to repeat herself. The spiel included an offer for a free sample, which I was very tempted to accept, but there was no way I was giving those people my address. So, on the off-chance the calls are monitored in some way, I just calmly explained that the product she was selling is a scam, that there is no such panacea, please remove me from your call list, and so forth. I’m sure it didn’t slow her or any of the other telemarketers down for a moment.

Then I Googled “marine phytoplankton” and wow, what a depressing result. Phytoplankton are actually quite neato and important little plants, which are at the bottom of the marine food chain, but you wouldn’t know it from my search, which as you can see is a cavalcade of quackery. (If you remove the word “marine,” you get a slightly better list; apparently the snake oil is best identified by that modifier but it still turns up on the front page.) I had no idea.

Look! Diatoms!

I don’t really have a point to all this, other than in addition to being skeezed out as usual by snake-oil salespeople, it makes me sad to see something of such genuine scientific coolness co-opted into just another quack remedy.

TAM was so incredible that the skeptic part of my brain overloaded and burnt out. Until it’s recovered I’ll be posting thoughts on the other areas of the blog, like videogames. (I warned you!) I send you off with a little lecture about phytoplankton.

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