Being disabled by chronic illness means you might spend a fair amount of time being annoyed, frustrated, angry, or depressed by stuff. I’m not saying we’re all a load of bitter, miserable people; I’m saying that when you’re limited by your body in ways you can’t control no matter how firm a resolve you may have, almost every day you’re going to run into some kind of situation that requires special navigation. You end up focusing on your health almost as much as a hypochondriac, not because you want to, but because it’s your illness that runs your life in many ways now, not you. And every day you have to figure out what you can and can’t do all over again.
We all navigate these waters in our own way, and I don’t presume to tell anyone what kind of emotional response they ought to be having. But along with all my own kvetching and occasional pity parties, I also find time as frequently as I can to remember what I’m grateful for. (Some weeks more frequently than others, I admit.) It feels good to remember this stuff, and so Thanksgiving being Thursday, I thought I’d list a few of the things I am most thankful for, because I’m too bogged down with NaNoWriMo to come up with something original.
I’m thankful NaNoWriMo is almost over.
I’m thankful that I’m not as bad off as I could be. And no matter how bad off I might get, I will always be thankful for this.
I’m thankful that, with the help of medication, I can still manage a night out at the theatre, or a house party, or a celebratory dinner for two. I may end up paying for it afterwards, but I’m glad I haven’t lost that capacity entirely.
I’m thankful for having smart, open-minded doctors who aren’t afraid to say “I don’t know” nor to tell me hard truths when necessary.
I’m thankful I’m able to pay to see those doctors, as well as have all my basic needs well taken care of, not to mention a number of frivolous ones.
I’m thankful for the persistence of scientific curiosity, and the beauty of the world as science shows it to us.
I’m thankful that my oldest friends accept and support how I’ve changed since becoming ill, and that my newer friends are so understanding about my limits.
I’m thankful for the skeptical community that has opened my eyes to fascinating areas of study. The amount of learning and interaction I get from this has really kept me engaged and active this year after I’ve had to curtail my academic career.
I’m thankful for the two insane felines who live here and make me laugh every day.
I’m thankful to have a husband who is a true life partner in every sense of the term.
I’m thankful for you, whoever you are reading this, for being here. Working on Newly Nerfed keeps me reading, writing, and connected, and every reader does me an honor.
Have a safe and delicious holiday!
