You’re an interpreter? Do you know Braille?

I’ve been thinking about skepticism and ethics. That train of thought led me back to the code of ethics I followed as a professional sign language interpreter, which led me to reminisce. While I do have plans to write about the first thing, I thought I’d just share a few of those recollections.

The theme of this post is “stupid things people say to interpreters.” Although occasionally things like these are said maliciously, usually they come from well meaning people who are ignorant of – or nervous about – deaf people. It’s of tantamount importance to stay friendly, helpful, and polite. Hearing clients often relate to a hearing interpreter more than to the deaf client, which is why they ask some of these questions, but they can also connect our behavior with that of the client. So if an interpreter is rude or unhelpful, a hearing client may associate that with the deaf client or even all deaf people. (Seriously.)

Thus, a lot of my time as an interpreter included fielding these stupid things people said to me without offending them, much as skeptics often have to educate people, such as loved ones, without alienating them. In both cases you have to do some culture-bridging. Here’s a few examples, and while I may have changed a few identifying details, I swear this is all true. In addition, some of them are extremely common among all interpreters.

Interpreting for Todd Parr in 2005

Question: “Do you know Braille?”
Mental response: Do you know anything?
Actual response: “Braille is used by blind people.” If further confusion results: “Deaf people don’t need a special way to read unless they’re also blind.”

When I was a student, an experienced interpreter once told me she got asked this all the time. I thought she had to be putting me on. Then I started working as an interpreter. Hoo boy.

Question: How much can he hear?/Is he doing his homework?/Can he lip-read?/Does he understand?/etc.
Mental response: What am I, his mother?
Actual response: “I don’t know, but if you want to ask him, I’d be happy to interpret that.”

I take care to say this pleasantly, with politeness and sincerity, and it almost always gets the point across. The one time it went south, I was taken out of a class after saying it to the jackhole of a teacher who asked me something along those lines, and didn’t like the answer. As working in his class entailed having to interpret while he described how lovely his turds were, it wasn’t much of a loss.

Comment: (After a mistake or a joke) “I don’t want you to interpret that.”
Mental response: Then don’t fucking say it!
Actual response: Interpret “I don’t want you to interpret that” to the deaf client. After that, it really depends on the situation.

Question: (waves hands around randomly) What did I just say?
Mental response: Amazing. You hit on the exact sign for “I’m a moron.”
Actual response: Depending on my relationship with people, I’ve gotten away with “You said ‘I don’t know any sign language.’” If I don’t know them well enough to make a pointed joke, I usually let a smile and a shrug answer for me.

Question: Why does he look at you and not me when I talk to him?
Mental response: Were you born this way or was it traumatic brain injury?
Actual response, from the deaf client: “BECAUSE I’M DEAF!”

This came from the worst hearing client I have ever worked for. In this case I was lucky: I only witnessed the comment while my partner was the one interpreting. Lucky because I needed all my mental power to focus on not busting out laughing, which I probably wouldn’t have avoided had I been obliged to interpret all that.